Credit One Bank Platinum Visa Review: It’s Like Gambling, Because You Lose All the Time

One of my hobbies is reading through the terms of credit card offers to see just how terrible they are. This latest one sent to my wife — who has excellent credit I should add — might take the cake.

The envelope says she’s pre-approved for a “Platinum Visa.” Intrigued, and as yet unaware Visa even offers such a card, the hair on my neck stands as I caress the sleek, minimalist, flat-black packaging. No longer able to contain my curiosity, I enlist my finest monogrammed letter opener — the only tool fit for such a gentlemanly communique as this — and indulge!

Inside, the offer is from CreditOne Bank — no, not Capital One, who themselves have some quite insulting offers — this is CreditOne Bank, headquartered in that hamlet of financial prudence and stability known as Las Vegas, NV.

The terms?

24% APR, $99 annual fee, billed monthly at $8.25, an additional annual $19 “participation fee,” and a credit limit “up to” a whopping $1,500. Best of all — in a move I can’t even believe is legal — this card begins charging interest on all purchases the minute they’re made, meaning that 24% APR we mentioned earlier is entirely unavoidable. Heck, you’ll have interest piling up on the $8.25+$19 they charge off the bat before you even get your card in the mail!

But, if you’ve been searching for a way to throw money into a bottomless pit even when you’re not physically in Las Vegas, we’d be happy to drop off your application at the cashier’s cage next time we’re at the Excalibur Casino’s weekly “Slots ‘n’ Seafood Extravaganza.”